Book 1

                                       OLD MAN SUDDARD AND THE SUDDARDY FIELD

'Written in 1980 to coincide with the release of the third Suddard film, "Phoenix: The Resuddarding," this novel is about an attack by Old Man Suddard on a group of people at a small field in the middle of nowhere. Selling over 3000 copies, it quickly became a bestseller. Featuring the introduction of such characters as Donnie Gray, the librarian and Benji Handslam, the loveable rogue whose name nobody could remember, it quickly became a fan favourite. Below is an extract from chapter one of this book.'

"The boy, who conveniently was related to those people that Old Man Suddard killed that one time, walked slowly through the forest of Horton. The wind howled through the trees. "Suddard", it whispered, in a quiet and somewhat racist fashion. T he boy, who was also related to some other guy that died, continued his walk back to his home that also conveniently didnt have locks on it. Tonight was the night that Suddard had mysteriously died after being hit by a Ford Fiesta over two hundred years ago...or so the legend goes.

The boy reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to his new Ford Fiesta. 'Ahh, this car that I own will help me get to my home where there are no locks, on this, the anniversary of the death of Old Man Suddard." Suddenly, he heard a branch snap behind him. It was a squirrel. The boy breathed a sigh of relief before learning that a squirrel was in fact one of the reasons for Old Man Suddard's decent into madness that one time. The boy opened the door to the Ford Fiesta that he owned. It smelled of Old Man Suddard. The boy would recognise that Suddardy smell anywhere. He started the engine, but it wouldn't work. There was no petrol. "Oh no! Suddard has used his knowledge of fossil fuels to torment me from beyond the grave!" The boy exclaimed. Then he heard the tapping of Suddard's Old Man Suddardness on the rear view mirror..."

Since the release of "Old Man Suddard 4: Suddard Impact", this novel is considered non-canon.